You don’t hear regret at cruising altitude. It comes later, at the kitchen table, in a quiet house, with photos of birthdays you missed and conversations you can’t replay. You were doing your job, flying the line and providing for your family.
Something about it just doesn’t feel right.
Maybe your spouse hasn’t said it out loud, or your kids seem “fine.” However, deep down, you can feel it: you’ve been away too long and for too many moments that won’t come back.
It’s not that you don’t care. You’ve just been telling yourself there would be more time.
In this blog, we’ll discuss the myths pilots have about parenting and what the solution is, before it’s too late.
Key Takeaways
- Your children don’t stop growing: The dream makes sense, but the timeline doesn’t. By the time you retire in your 60s, your kids will likely be living their own lives.
- Presence speaks louder than sacrifice: Flying to provide is noble, but your absence still leaves a mark. Children and spouses need to feel your presence, not just your intention.
- Silence isn’t the same as support: When she says “I’m fine,” she may be hiding exhaustion. Many pilot spouses bear the emotional and practical burden of being the second parent.
- Your kids need you now, not later: You don’t need more time to be a great father or Mother. You need to be more present in the time you already have.
- Sky doesn’t have to steal your family: These myths are comforting, but they cost you moments you can never get back. Take the 3-minute quiz to see how you can become a more present parent.
Four Myths Pilots Have as a Parent and Husband
You’ve probably said it to yourself a hundred times: “I’ll figure out the balance later.” Maybe after the upgrade. After the kids are older. After retirement.
But what if “later” is the lie, and all these are just myths that keep you stuck? If it’s true, you need to stop waiting for life to slow down and start making intentional choices sooner rather than later.
To help you out, we’ll bust four common myths pilots believe about parenting and being a husband.
Myth #1: “I’ll Spend More Time with My Kids After I Retire”
Dreaming of spending more time with your kids after retirement sounds logical at first. However, the reality is quite the opposite, and a bit harsh.
By the time you retire, your kids may already have moved out or started families of their own. The window you were waiting for will be closed.
Studies suggest that 75% of the time parents spend with their kids is usually by the age of 12. This indicates that once your kids are teenagers, you’ll spend less and less time with them as they pursue college, career, and adulthood.
Therefore, if you’re imagining a rich, connected family life “someday,” that someday might not arrive the way you think.
Myth #2: “My Family Understands I’m Doing This for Them”
This is the myth that hurts the most, because it comes from love. You’re sacrificing time, presence, and routine to give your family security. That should count for something, and it does, but not always in the way you think.
Research shows that millennials wish their dad had been more present. When they became parents, they began to spend three times more with their kids because they understand how it feels.
This gap isn’t just numbers. It’s distance, quiet birthdays, missed games, and bedtime routines that only exist in pictures.
Your income is important, but presence is irreplaceable. That’s why it may be time to consider building a business that allows you to reclaim your time without compromising your relationship with family.
Myth #3: “My Spouse is Fine with the Lifestyle – I Asked”
You’ve probably asked your wife and children, and they said they’re okay with it. Most pilots, however, are unaware of this fact: your spouse might not want to burden you with their true feelings.
Partners of pilots often become masters at suppressing their needs. They raise kids, run the house by themselves for days at a time, and keep everything together while you’re 35,000 feet up. That kind of independence may appear to be strength, but sometimes it’s just silent exhaustion.
A recent study showed that aviation families experience significantly higher levels of relationship stress. Their partners often report feeling emotionally disconnected, lonely, or even “married single.”
Yet when asked directly, many spouses downplay their struggles to avoid sounding ungrateful or making things worse. The real danger is this: the absence slowly becomes normal, leading to fractured intimacy, emotional shutdown, or resentment.
Myth #4: “I’ll Be a Better Parent Once I Have More Time”
This is the biggest myth of all because it gives you hope to avoid taking action. As pilots, we think in flight hours, duty logs, and seniority. Naturally, we believe more time equals better parenting.
However, parenting well is not about quantity; it’s about quality, presence, and emotional availability.
In fact, families where a parent works long, irregular hours (like in aviation) show higher rates of behavioral and emotional issues in children. When a parent redesigns their work life to create more flexibility and presence, even if it means fewer hours, their kids tend to thrive.
That’s why we believe business isn’t a distraction from family.
Done right, it’s the way back to them.
You don’t need to wait until retirement to become the dad your kids remember.
How to Redesign Your Work To Be a More Present Parent
Realistically, most pilot schedules were never meant to support family connections. They were built for operational efficiency, not emotional leadership. This is why many pilots end up watching their kids grow up through photos, FaceTime, and stories they missed.
Fortunately, you can change this. Here’s how:
Take Hold of Your Time Schedule
Airline schedules aren’t designed with your family in mind. You’re handed a roster and told to make it work. But when you’re constantly gone, exhausted, or recovering, even your “days off” aren’t really at home.
That’s where business design comes in.
It’s the antidote to reactive living. Instead of waiting for windows of time, you build a system that puts your values first and your availability back in your control.
Time Leverage = Emotional Leadership
When you build a business with flexibility, you get more time to spend with your family. You’re no longer sacrificing presence for provision and can attend the game, be there for the conversations and just sit at the dinner table, fully present.
Here’s the real win: your family feels it.
Studies show that children of emotionally available parents are more confident, more connected, and more likely to thrive in the long term. That availability starts with properly managing your time, not just wishful thinking.
Don’t Wait Until Retirement to Reclaim Your Role at Home
If you’ve made it this far, then a part of you already knows: something needs to change. Not because you’re failing, but because you care.
There’s now a path forward that doesn’t require you to give up your career, and just rethink how you live and lead. By building that business that’s gathered digital dust on your iphone, you can reclaim time, rebuild connections with your children, and demonstrate to your family what real presence looks like.
However, if you’re still concerned if you’re ready to take that step, we’ve got you covered. If you can spare 3 minutes of your time, check out our checklist to see how ready you are for life after the sky.
The answers might be closer than you think.
Invitation to join our FREE Strategy Session
Most pilots are one honest conversation away from clarity. This is that conversation.
Complete our “Life After the Sky” checklist, then join me for a FREE 15-minute “Strategy Session” via Zoom.
This session has been created for pilots who want to take ownership of what comes next.
Those who want action, not just to talk about it.
In just 15 minutes, we’ll:
- Review your checklist results
- Identify the one obstacle holding back your reinvention
Translate your checklist results into a clear starting point
Start your pre-flight assessment for the next chapter of your journey by Booking your free strategy session here!
